Rock WILK: MUSIC & VIDEOS

• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)
• MP3 short clip, lo-fi play (modem)

with regards to this latest circumstance
my brain
is in a state of total disconnect
from my heart,
wavering in multitudes
but my beating center remains fixed
locked in
it's confusing

my grey matter is splattered
like a broken thermometer
mercury
super ball bounces
pigskin oblong shape unpredictable
I'm here today, where tomorrow unstable
I'm sure of this
at least I think I am

I reach out
hope sharing
searching for answers
acquiring useless,
unwanted advice
"my side of the line" love
but I am arrow seeking
terminus singular truth
to tell me what I want to hear

I listen
but I'm a prisoner
trapped inside of my own head
hearing only crazy glue memories
in tattooed headphones
fixed stuck
in my cement shoes
planted
scream reminding myself
at full volume
right next to distorted
but still playing compilation mp3's
of avant-garde jazz
soloing over all of my chronic changes
modulating different
with each turnaround

reinforce convincing
I keep sending myself mixed signals
so I'm living inside of a sun shower
spitting down
lush rainbows
wrapped in tenebrous clouds
that extend in multiple directions
with unseen endings
drizzling chromatic drops
with that scent that sex soaks you
into full spectrum confusion

misty fog
makes it impossible to decide
what to wear
on days like this.
sometimes it just feels good
to go without an umbrella
other times
you simply don't want to get wet

and then I check my pulse
and steady as you call me Rock
hard to 60 beats per minute
MY gospel is a ballad
singing Donny Hathaway soulful
yet still deliberate in it's simplest form
throbbing unquestionable

it won't stop
because if it does
my veins will collapse empty
my organs will seize my faith
I will stroke breathless
probably lose the use of my desire
and I will cease to live

so my thoughts race
this cross country course
makes me lost
missed flag after flag
the trails look all the same
unmarked
and I have no sense of direction

I'm not even in the race
but I bleeding lung push
one foot in front of another
disparate struggle
to a finish line
of a possibly already completed event

i am relentless in my hope
I believe in my pump
it is the only constant
left in my life
it is reliable
something I can count on
the day that THAT's not the case
would be the day
that this race is over

I am death and taxes certain
absolute positive
unequivocal clear
time is creeping away bound
fixed constant permanent
inescapable firm
I am Rock solid
I know this

but then I think feel
my ego bruised burned
turns my back
to move on
to walk the way of wide open
opaquely covering up
what I really want
I turn her into secrets now
buried deep
to a different quadrant
my own personal hell
my underground volcano
trying to burn torment
into lava flowing indifference
to let her drip drop off
and blood ooze out of my pores

I manipulate our heat
into global warming
we are like glaciers, time melted
from impenetrable solid
to a temporary runoff
fleeting in the grand scheme of things
wet, flowing, seeping
into slowly forgotten soiled history
and yet I just can't let you go

in this exact moment
I am alone
free
I am present
comfortably unsure
accepting of the complexity
of hovering among your clouds
that hang over me

I am a perforated kite
float flailing
wind gyrating
hoping to land in a tree
where I might still be stuck
or if I'm not careful
I might come crashing down to earth
where I could be broken
into a million jigsaw pieces
and therein lies my puzzle
you see all of this
is my fragmented truth
and I know this
definitely